In the darkness always look for the light, remember one cannot exist without the other. 

My cancer journey has been long, October marked 2 years since my diagnosis. It is tiring and takes  its toll, but I am grateful for every day I have. As my GP reminds me, I have already beaten the odds,  appreciate the accomplishment.  

This is what I have to keep reminding myself, not to get sucked into the darkness but focus on the  good. Hold onto the positive, the good memories the happy moments, the blessings in life. They are  there but we sometimes have to look exceptionally hard because the darkness can creep in with a  force and hide the light from us. 

On the 2nd of November, I fell deep into the darkness, we started Cycle 4 of my latest treatment and  we scheduled a CT scan to check the progress and an MRI for the headaches I have been having. 

The results of the CT were positive, the tumours on my breast, lung and liver have not grown, which  means the treatment is slowing the cancer down as we hoped.  

Unfortunately, the MRI revealed my worst fear, a new small nodule on the left high parietal lobe of  my brain has developed. Coming to terms with this has been the most difficult, fighting my body is  manageable but when my mind could be affected and the disease could result in my mental faculties  being altered, is a whole new reality to face.

To say I got lost in the dark is mild, I felt defeated, the blows keep coming and my hope was at an all time low. I cried in Grant’s arms as all the worst thoughts, scenarios and outcomes played in my head. In that moment I could not see the light, darkness had consumed me. 

Then the best thing happened, my cheerleading squad kicked in. Friends and family started  responding to the news, messages of encouragement came through, catch up lunches with lots of  hugs, tears and laughter, coffee visits, phone calls, flowers and the most amazing delivery of cooked  meals happened. 

I was blown away, each action big or small made the light shine brighter, made each day easier.  

This once again reminded me we are not alone; we are surround by love and that is the most  important thing. 

So, on the 13th of November we started Cycle 5 of treatment, my oncologist feels quite positive to  continue treatment and that the brain tumour is small enough to manage. We will do a secondary  MRI beginning December to check it, if it has grown, we will look at zapping it with some radiation, if  there is no change, we will keep monitoring it. Suddenly the sun seemed a bit brighter, and the  darkness crept back into its corner. 

Yes, for a brief time the darkness took over and I could not find my way but thankfully my family and  friends did what they do best, they embraced us with support and love. This is all any of us could  ever ask for, that in our darkest hour there are people around us to turn on the light. 

So, as I distract myself with our upcoming Christmas holiday plans, yes, we will keep creating  memories and unforgettable moments. My hope and prayer for each and every one of you, is that  you are as lucky as I am to be surrounded by the best cheerleading squad, who can turn on the light  for you when you need it most.