Shew life, the world, getting up every day is tough, and I am not only talking about myself I am talking about for everyone.
All around us friends, family, colleagues, our community’s people are struggling. In a lot of ways, it is no surprise; we still recovering from COVID, war and violence is all around, loadshedding, water issues, crumbling infrastructure, rising cost of living, basic human rights being violated, the list goes on. If you are managing to get out of bed each day, give yourself a high five, you deserve it!

What I am finding even harder though, on top of all the above, is the increasing pressure as well to be SUPER Humans. The constant discussions, articles and messaging to be brave, be strong, be resilient, be happy be, be kind, be angry at what is happening around us, be forgiving but don’t be a sucker, be thankful and appreciative for your job for what you have, be positive but not toxic positive, be realistic but also be entrepreneurial, don’t stop learning, be a great parent, be healthy, be fit, be spiritual and mindful, be financially savvy but also don’t forget to live and enjoy life, oh my goodness I can keep going but my head is spinning and it’s not from the chemo drugs. Thinking about it all is exhausting, never mind
trying to do and be all this as well. To top it all how does one individual achieve all of this, all
the time.

Stop The Train! I do not want to be on this journey.

Now you most probably thinking, oh my Dee, I think you have too much time to think. Yes, let us be honest going through chemo does leave me with time, lots of talking with others, reading, and reflecting. The thing is this is not about me this is about all of us, and we need to pause and acknowledge this chaos.

The pressure to be SUPER human is leading us to constantly question ourselves, and whilst I am the first to advocate for being self-aware and improving oneself. What is happening is that we have taken motivational encouragement and thought-provoking topics to a very unhealthy, often contradictory, overwhelming unrealistic pressure to be SUPER human.

What surprises me most is this is not a one size fits all, we all acknowledge we are individuals, different personalities, and cultures yet somehow, we all strive to be the same types of humans.

It is not possible!

If you want to be passionate, or happy or angry all the time go ahead. I personally think it is futile, you need to choose the moments, moments to be happy, moments to be sad and heal from loss and remembering loved ones, moments of passions, frustration, fear and then moments of just nothing but being or breathing.

We need a world of different people with different skills, passions, and traits to make up our society, we cannot all be gurus, CEOs, celebrities, healers, human rights activists etc. We can and should only strive to be the best version of ourselves and when brought together as a collective should hopefully create a balanced society of all the above.

For example, my natural instinct is calm, easy going, naturally positive, independent, control freak, so telling me to get angry contradicts my personality and conflicts with what I am capable of. Does this mean I cannot and will not get involved or react, no, it means I am not going to do it in a way someone else would. I am going to for example help be the gatherer, the sharer to build awareness, rally the troops, share the message in a positive calm approach. Because that is the best use of my human qualities which will hopefully balance and support your energy, enthusiasm, take action and be angry approach to achieve a common goal. Because I approach something in a different way to you does not necessarily
make me wrong or you wrong, or me the better person or you the better person. No, it means we are both trying our best to achieve the same goal in a way that works best for us as individuals.

This takes me to my true thinking, accepting who you are and being OK with it. Knowing and understanding what your best qualities, the type of person you want to be and being comfortable with it.

Owning the fact that ‘It’s Ok to be you,’ who you are is enough.

I am not saying do not do any of the above, I am encouraging you to be selective about when and how you want to do things. Be clear on who you want to be, learn to apply the right approaches at the right time (it cannot be 24/7) and work on that. Be you and stop blaming yourself for not being SUPER human.
Honestly, the goal in life should be simple:

Be a Good Human!

For me personally being a good human means:
• Never intentionally harm anyone, emotionally or physically, I have yet to see a situation where anger or violence was the best choice
• Be kind no matter what, even if all it needs is a smile, always be kind
• It is ok to say No, sometimes to be a good human you must put your own needs first.
• Do not judge! You are not perfect either, if you disagree fine, but being mean or critical says more about you than them.
• Own your decisions, actions, and words. Even when life throws you curve-balls how you react is all up to you, OWN IT.

What a good human looks like is subjective and all up to you, no one else can decide that for you. That is how cults and world atrocities like genocides are started, when we let other people decide for us.

That is my opinion, my feeling and if you do not agree it is OK, YOU be YOU.

Thanks for reading and being the Ying to my Yang.